From time to time, we all feel out of sorts. While this is an entirely normal feeling, learning to change your perspective can be the simple pivot you need! Once in a while, ignore the "little things" and appreciate the bigger picture.
Perspective Checklist:
Your relationships are less dramatic than they used to be.
Drama is not maturity. Have you noticed that life doesn't contain the
rollercoaster emotions of your youth? Maturity is moving past the drama, and that's a HUGE success!
You are not afraid to ask for help and support.
Asking for help does not equate to weakness. It is a strength. No person
has ever succeeded in isolation. It takes teamwork to accomplish goals.
You have raised your standards.
You don't tolerate bad behavior from other people or even yourself anymore. Instead, you hold people accountable for their actions. You successfully identify the "energy vampires" in your life and let them go.
You let go of things that don't make you feel good.
No, this is not narcissistic. Self-love is a success. Love yourself enough to say "no" to anything that doesn't make you happy, serves your purpose, or drags you down. When doing so much for others, it is essential to make sure that we make it work for us. Especially family! There will be some growing pains, but it is worth it!
You Have Moments Where You Appreciate Who You See In The Mirror.
We condition ourselves to look for flaws. Every morning feelings of disappointment can creep in as we prepare for the day. We look for that person we saw in that great photo. We hear our mother's voice in our head. Do your best to catch yourself before going down that rabbit hole. Look for the features that make you feel your best. Try to balance the negative with the positive. But even if that doesn't happen, if you do it more than you used to, that is a success. Love yourself. You are awesome.
You Have Learned That Setbacks Are Part Of Self-Growth.
Only some people can have success 100% of the time. That's not realistic. When failing, I discovered that "the universe" was kicking me to see something better! After my surgery, I tried returning to sales, and my new manager, who was kind enough to hire me, morphed into a narcissistic pain. I was so confused until I was finishing my Pilates Instructor certification and realized he was shoving me onto my new path. The startup salary of that job, we a stepping stone to my passion.
So look at your setbacks as stepping stones to something better. In reality, there is no such thing as a setback. It's all just part of a wondrous journey.
You Have A Support System That Includes People Who Would Do Anything For You.
You have succeeded if you have figured out the people who "have your back" and recognized the ones who only pretend that they do. Discovering the pretenders is a painful realization, but once you learn to see the signs of betrayal, you can stay away from those people.
Because you know there is nothing to complain about. Unless you have gone through some horrific life experience and had unimaginable losses, most of what we all experience daily is just mundane. And successful people know that. And they live in the space of gratitude.
You Can Celebrate Others' Successes.
Just because other people succeed, that doesn't make you a failure. Applaud the people who rise to the top. The more positive energy you give to other people's victories, the more you will create your own.
You Have Passions That You Pursue.
You are not stagnant. You know you have something extraordinary to contribute to the world. You have unique talents and gifts. Not only do you see that you pursue it.
You Have Things To Look Forward To.
If you don't have exciting things going on in your life that you eagerly anticipate, you are slowly dying inside. Successful people create goals that they are passionate about pursuing. Then, they let this excitement drive their life.
You Have Goals That Have Come True.
Even though "failures" are a part of life, you have stuck to your goals and dreams long enough to make them come to fruition. As a result, you have some taste of victory. It fuels you.
You Have Empathy For Others.
A person without empathy is empty inside. Empathy equals understanding the burdens around you and sharing positive energy with others that the struggles are temporary. Successful people know this.
You Love Deeply And Open Yourself Up To Be Loved By Others.
Love is risky and sometimes scary for people. It's the one thing we all strive for, but it's also intimately tied to the one thing we fear the most – rejection. Nevertheless, you are successful if you open your heart enough to love and be loved.
You Refuse To Be A Victim.
You know that life doesn't always happen to you. Many times, you are a co-creator of your life experiences. Successful people know this and refuse to be kept down by life experiences. They rise and conquer anyway.
You Don't Care What Other People Think.
You know you can't please everyone. You understand that the standards society judges people are often unrealistic. People's opinion of you is none of your business. So you keep true to yourself and love the person you are.
You Always Look On The Bright Side.
Life can be full of disappointments – if you choose to see them that way. Otherwise, they are teaching opportunities. No negative experience is wasted as long as you learn from it.
You Accept What You Can't Change.
Let's face it – there are many things you can't change in life. All you can change is how you view what happens. You are successful if you can change your negative perspective on situations to a positive one.
You Change What You Can.
And let's face it again – there are many things you can change in life. Successful people don't sit around accepting the negatives that are changeable. They get out there and do something about it!!
The Wheel of Life image below is a creative snapshot of where you need to balance life out. Rate each section and then connect the dots. It provides a great visual of where you need to focus more energy. I do it about every three months.
Don't expect to excel in each category. Life is fluid, and some areas will need more attention than others at given times.
You Are Content.
Why not happy? Happiness is a great, temporary emotion. Happiness is often defined as a "More Strategy." You would be very happy if I gave you $10,000, but how long would that happiness last? As long as the $10,000?
Content is defined as the "Enough Strategy."
The root of the word contentment comes from the Latin contentus, which means "held together" or "intact, whole." Originally, contentus was used to describe containers like cups, buckets, and barrels. Later, the word evolved into something that could reflect onto a person, which represents one who feels complete, with no desires beyond themselves. Contentus asks the question, "How whole do you feel inside? How complete are you as a human being?
Contentment comes from our relationship to what is happening around us rather than our reaction.
To me, this is the ultimate definition of success. It doesn't matter what the balance is in your bank account, how big your house is, or how many fancy vacations you take. If you are happy, then you are succeeding in life.
You have Control
As we head into the busy holiday season and finish 2022, it is a normal feeling to reflect and make goals to accomplish in 2023 and life. Keep these indicators in mind, and know that you are doing your best with everything life throws your way. You have more control than you realize, and making small changes can have significant effects! You got this!